Love Means
by mustardgirl1128
Summary: Gideon/Marlene oneshot. "'You don’t want to do this…' she murmurs before kissing him again, and he thinks that he really, really does."


Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this fic, and I found myself accidentally using a few lines from Forrest Gump, which I do not own either.

* * *

_Good night, boys,_ Mummy says softly. _I love you._

She's always making it a point to say I love you, Gideon thinks, but all he responds with is a sleepy, _G'night, Mum, love you too… _before nearly drifting off.

_Night, Mummy!_ Fabe says loudly, breaking the weary spell sleep has put upon him. _I love you the mostest!_

She laughs and kisses the tops of their heads before shutting the door softly behind her.

It's an innocent time, then, when love was never preceded with 'making' or 'in', and when all it meant was a close-knit family.

But oh, will that change…

* * *

_Love means friends._

Gideon knows that before Hogwarts, but it doesn't register. It doesn't register how much he'll love the friends he'll make, how much he'll care for them, and how much it will hurt when he loses them.

Emmaline is his first friend. She is so different from Fabe, it's almost scary. She is stately, proper, and rarely smiles, but she suits Gid. She controls his wild tempers, his sad thoughts, and his problems. She deals with everything easily, and Gideon loves her.

The day after his funeral, she sits in her kitchen, stately, proper, and unsmiling. Her hands clutch the tea mug she holds in a desperate way. Perhaps Gideon wouldn't have believed it if he'd seen her--she deals with everything easily.

But she loves Gideon back.

* * *

_Love means falling._

Gideon watches his parents on a daily basis before Hogwarts--the way they joke around each other, the way they dote upon one another, and the way his mother is forever smiling around his father.

He knows what love is--he's not a stupid man. But it's hard to believe he'll ever have what his parents have with any woman.

And then he meets Marlene, and all rationality flies out the window.

He can joke with her, he is at ease around her, and he can't stop smiling when he's with her. So _this_ is love.

_Fuck, Prewett!_ she says one day as he sneaks up on her on the Quidditch pitch. _Try not to scare me all the time._

He laughs and says, _Well, there's a solution to my madness._

_Don't ask me out, _she says wearily, and he gets the feeling that she's known this whole time. _I'm not good for you._

_I love you, Marly--you're very good for me._ He lets his joking façade drop and replaces it with the seriousness that is rarely found in him.

_No, Gid. I'm a bad person--I smoke, I do reckless things…. You? You're pure. You're controlled, and happy, and everything I'm not. I can't date you._

But he catches her up and kisses her, and she looks so torn when they break apart. _You don't want to do this…_she murmurs before kissing him again, and he thinks that he really, really does.

And then they're rushing to his room, and shutting his dorm room door, and falling onto the bed, still connected at the mouth. It's everything he's ever wanted, and she giggles as he hastens to remove his clothes, tripping most of the time.

She takes his breath away, and when it's over, all he wants is more.

She laughs at him. _You don't get it, Prewett. Once is more than enough. I didn't want to do this to you--to ruin your innocence. _It's surprisingly poetic, for a girl with blood-red tattoos and a hacking cough from smoking.

_No, Marlene, I get it. You want to protect me from yourself, and so we can't have sex. But that was the best I've ever felt in my life, so maybe you're wrong._

_The thing is,_ she says with a sigh as she re-latches her bra, _I'm not._

And then she leaves.

* * *

_Love means hurt._

He's resigned to that once she goes. She'll never come back, he thinks.

So he joins the Order. He's with Emmaline, with his brother, with _good people_, and he's with her. He makes a point to sit next to her at meetings and brush their legs together, his head full of memories from that day.

He knows this is serious, that he should stop thinking of girls and start fighting, but so is his love for her--it's the most serious thing in the world. And so he brushes their legs together and grins impishly at her, and tries not to mind when Sirius Black does the same.

* * *

_Love means trust._

He's finally cornered her after a meeting, and she's nearly _nervous--_Marlene McKinnon is never nervous.

_Go out with me. Come with me to The Leaky Cauldron. Nothing has to happen._ He pleads and pleads, and finally she gives in.

Of course something is bound to happen, and by the end of the night they're locked in his flat, and he's never been happier.

_Don't you fucking get it, Prewett? _she rages the next morning when she wakes up very much naked. _I'm trying to save you from the horror that is me! I'm just a slut who's full of trouble, and the deeper you get involved with me, the worse it is!_

_I'm as involved as I can get, McKinnon. I'm in love with you. I don't care what you are or how you act!_ He tries to assure her, to convince her that he can't_ not_ love her, but she'll hear none of it.

_Shut up with the bull,_ she tells him, gathering her clothes quickly. _This relationship _has_ to be over._

And she leaves again.

Perhaps his trust is a bit tarnished, now.

* * *

_Love means sacrifice._

It's all he can do not to sacrifice _himself_ when he walks into The Leaky Cauldron one night and sees a drunken Marlene and a smoking Sirius flirting in a dark corner.

Is _Sirius_ strong and stained enough for her? Sirius, with his illegal motorbike and long black hair? Sirius, with his handsome face and wheedlesome charms?

But he sacrifices his own happiness at the next meeting when he sits far away from her and allows her to giggle in Sirius's direction.

He sacrifices his happiness as he hears the stories--_Marlene McKinnon and Sirius Black are some sort of item, now--they're together--they've hooked up tons of times, Sirius says--Marlene looks radiant, so happy to be with Sirius--_he hears it all.

She's so happy to be with Sirius, people say, and so he sacrifices his love for her to be happy.

* * *

_Love means protection._

He's on a quest with Fabian. And Marlene is there with them.

_How's Sirius?_ he asks bitterly.

_Fuck off_, is her immediately defensive response. _Don't ask me why I chose him--he's as reckless and problematic as I am._

_You know, I could be reckless and problematic. _

_I don't want you to change for me!_ she snaps, bristling yet again.

_I fucking love you! Why can't you see that? I want to be with you, I will change for you! If you gave me a chance, I could be everything Sirius is!_

And suddenly they're kissing again, and he can't help but let her take him again, as hurt as he is, because she's a drug and he's addicted. And she cries when they're done, for the first time in all the days he's known her.

_I try so hard, Gideon. I try so fucking hard! I'm fighting my love for you, fighting my want for you, but then you come back and tell me you love me, and what the hell do I do then? You kiss me, and I can't possibly restrain myself anymore. Please, please just leave me alone, Gideon, because I love you and I can't let you get hurt._

He's astounded, pleased, crushed--_she loves him, she loves him_--and so neither of them are prepared when Fabian comes in and shouts, _Death Eaters!_

And they're vigilant again--_constant vigilance_--with their wands out and their faces grim.

_I love you_, he tells her one last time, and then five of them come, attacking, forcing them down. They nearly get them all, but one points her wand at Marlene. _Avada--_

He dives in front of her, ready to die a hero's death, ready to save her life--

_Kedavara!_

And he'll never know if he saved her, but he protected her.

He loves her.

* * *

A/N: This is my first go at writing Gideon/Marlene, and I actually enjoy how it turned out. It's dedicated to Lady Altair, because her Gideon/Marlene stuff is so amazing--I could never hope to be as good as her, but here's my humble offering!

Please review with any feedback/spelling/grammar issues. Or if you liked it, I'd love to hear from you! It's the only payment I get, see, and in this world of inflation and really high gas prices, I think as a fanfiction author I deserve a little something! :D


End file.
